Decisions
by debster35
Summary: Johnny makes some decisions that could change him for the rest of his life. one-shot. Tell me what you think!


**Hey everyone!!! So, here is a quick, little one-shot about Johnny making a big decision that could change his life. Hope you enjoy! R & R please!!!**

**This story takes place three days before the events of the book.**

**I own nothing-oh except a little surprise that pops into the story!!!**

A new life, it's what I've always wanted; a life where I could sleep through the night, not having to worry about my father coming into my room to discipline me. A life where I wasn't yelled at for every little thing I did, wrong or right.

Tonight, I was getting a life that I never thought I would have in a million years.

Sitting in the chair, I realized how ironic hospitals were. People go to hospitals to be cured and saved, but not everyone makes it out alive. Or some are diagnosed with some deadly disease and have only a short amount of time left in the world.

Hospitals make me very uneasy, with their white walls and weird, smelling hallways. They were always so cold and the food was disgusting too. Everything tasted like salt covered cardboard.

I sat in the waiting room, waiting…waiting for an answer from the fifth floor. I couldn't keep my foot still, and I caught myself biting my finger nails more than once. I couldn't believe what was happening; everything I knew was changed the moment I found out. I wonder if this was what it was like for millions of Americans who get the same news.

I slouched down in my chair, because the upright, nervous position was hurting my back. I looked over at the table beside me and decided on whether to pick up a magazine or not. They had a variety of things to look at; parental magazines, how to deal with bad news pamphlets, and a teens book on sex…exciting. I chose the parental magazine; to me it looked like the safest one to read without someone seeing my ears go red. On the first page there was a chubby baby drooling all over a blue blanket. His fat little arms were sprawled out in front of him and his smile was enough to make me want to hold him in my arms. Then I wondered what it would be like to be a father. Holding a baby, giving them kisses and hugs just to show them how much you loved them. I turned the page and realized maybe I shouldn't have chosen this one, the passage about birth and what happens made my ears go red, so I set that one down for the mean time.

I was getting really nervous by this point, and tired. It was one in the morning and I haven't heard anything about what was going on. To be honest, I was scared outta my mind. Every time I thought about it I wanted to run away, but knew I couldn't. I had to stay here and figure out a way to solve the situation. It was up to me, cause my dad wouldn't care about it and neither would my mother, but only because she did what my father said so she wouldn't get whipped too. I wasn't sure if I could do it, I wasn't God, and I didn't have the answer or action for everything.

I remembered the one out of the many times I went to church with Pony. The scripture for that day really caught my attention. The pastor talked about God loving everyone and how we are all equal in his eyes and his love, and love in general, endures forever.

He first talked about Ephesians 6: 1-4, the verse about obeying your parents and if you do you'll be rewarded. That one really caught my attention. I have always obeyed my parents and I was punished not rewarded. Ever since I heard that passage I waited for the day when all the abuse would stop and I would be seen as a good kid, but I wasn't too keen on that one.

The pastor then went on to talk about how God places the lonely in families; and sets the prisoners free and gives them joy, in Psalm 68: 5-6. When he mentioned that it brought me back to my room; when I was always locked up in there for my "wrong doings." I really believed that verse, cause whenever I did get out I usually ended up with the guys, happy to be out of that house.

I was brought back to reality when a man in his mid-twenties sat next to me. I gave a small smile and looked down at my torn shoes and took notice of his new leather ones; if that didn't make me feel lower than dirt, I don't know what would.

I noticed the man was looking at me, so I kept my gaze to the ground. He was most likely scrutinizing me for my dirty jean pants and jacket, and the torn high-tops. The grease in my hair probably made him cringe with disgust. I didn't care though; my friends and I are always put down for our looks. I noticed he was still looking at me, which caused me to continue to bite my nails. I decided to take a look at him and almost gasped when I realized who it was.

It was the pastor's son, man did they look alike. I felt like a total retard, criticizing him based on what I know from society.

"Your names Johnny, am I right?" he asked.

"Yeah, how…how are you?"

"Oh, I'm pretty good. My father's here praying for a family. Here for a check-up, it's kind of late isn't it?"

"Oh, no I'm not here for a check-up. I'm-a, I'm…" should I tell him? He knows about my home life, at least I think he does.

"Oh, my father's coming, I'm sure that whatever reason your here for God will watch over you. Have a nice night, Johnny," at that he left. I waved bye and slouched back into my seat. Would He, would He really be there for me when the time came? Would He be there to help me make my decision?

Why am I questioning God? I should know He's going to be there; maybe I shouldn't let the events of my last church visit effect my future church visits. I'll talk Pony into it; maybe we'll go this Sunday. That sounds good; it'll be like old times.

"Johnny Cade?"

I looked up to see a doctor standing above me, with a calm look on his face.

"Yea, how…what…" I stood up spluttering my words, not knowing what to ask first.

The doctor chuckled, "come and see for yourself."

He led me to the elevator down the hall. We were quiet the whole time up to the fifth floor. The doors opened with a small squeak and as we stepped out of the shaft I could feel my stomach drop. What was I going to see? How was I going to succeed in my task, after staying up for all that time?

"There you go Johnny, first bed on the left," the doctor pointed to the bed closest to the window. He stepped out of the way as I walked forward.

I stifled a gasp and put my hand on the cold window, getting as close as I could to the new life inside.

There she was, my new baby sister.

I wanted to hold her, and never let her go. Her chubby fist rubbed together against her body as she opened and closed her mouth for a yawn. I couldn't help but smile; she was the most precious baby I've ever seen.

"Would you like to hold her?"

I moved my head up and down, to stunned for words. I watched as the doctor walked into the room and said a quick command to the nurse inside to give me scrubs to wear. After the scrubs were in place, I waited impatiently for her to be in my arms. The doctor came out of the room and placed her gently into my arms. My heart melted for her, and I felt stronger and surer of myself than ever before.

I had been standing with her for maybe a minute when someone walked up to me.

"What are you doin'? Who said you could come up here, huh?"

There stood my father; hands in pockets and a look of disgust on his face.

"The doctor said I could," I left it at that; I didn't want to take it farther, even with others present.

"Well, just don't drop her, can you do that? Or do you need to be told twice?"

I peered into his eyes and felt my face go hot. He was putting me down, and now I looked like an idiot, for the second time tonight.

Thankfully, I didn't have to answer. He walked away without another word, and I stood there watching him walk away. The nurse and doctor felt it was alright to leave me alone with my sister, and they tended to another baby inside.

That moment alone with my sister, brought me back to that same day in church, when the pastor was talking about God's caring and His love. My favorite verse, hands down, was 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of wrongs. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."

The love I have for my sister is unconditional. I was going to protect her from everything, which means I'm gunna have to give her away.

I can't keep her safe her whole life. What would happen if I got into trouble and she was left alone with them? I couldn't risk it, even though I'm not sure they would hurt a baby, but with them, anything was possible.

I didn't know if I could do it. She fit perfectly in my arms, her little fingers found their way to mine. Her warm hands around my finger made me feel safe, and probably did the same for her. She was smart, she knew who to trust, and if she trusted me, then I had to do everything in my power to save her.

One last verse came into mind. Psalm 138: 6-8; "Though the Lord is great, he cares for the humble, but he keeps his distance from the proud. Though I am surrounded by troubles, you will protect me from the anger of my enemies. You reach your hand and the power of your right hand saves me." I knew it right then and there what I was going to do. I recalled everything I've learned in church and became the big brother that God sent me out to be.

A tear fell from my cheek and landed on my sisters pink blanket. It was one of the first tears in a while, a tear that would be the start of my new life as a better person. I lifted her to my face and whispered into her ear, "I love you, I will always love you. No matter what, please forgive me and I hope you'll understand why I had to do this."

I had made my decision, and there was no turning back now.

**So what did you think? I've never done a story like this yet, but I had this idea for a while and thought it was something different from the normal. If you really want to find out what he did with his sister just send me a message, okey dokey! **

**Oh and as another disclaimer- I do not own the bible either-the great Lord above does!!**

**Read and review please!!! Thank You!! God bless!!**


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